For this gathering it was Ward’s turn to pick the entertainment and to drop a big spoiler he hit two massive holes-in-one with the “Lover’s Vow” segment of the Tales from the Dark Side movie and a pair of short horror films following the dark antics of a fellow clad in a jester mask. It was a great triple-feature, not much more needs to be said so let’s get into it!
Lover’s Vow [Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie] (1990)
Direction by: John Harrison
Story by: Michael McDowell
Featuring: James Remar, Rae Dawn Chong
Production: Paramount Pictures/Laurel Productions/Darkside Movie
Major Threats: decapitation, monsters in alleyways, breaking promises
Struggling artists always seem to be associated with the horror genre because that’s just what Preston is, as when we first meet him he’s destroying some construct of what look to be Popsicle sticks in a fit of frustration. His partner isn’t happy since as he puts it, “Thirty percent of nothing is nothing”, and Preston flips out after their meeting and goes on a bender. While taking a leak in the back alley, he witnesses another patron get ripped apart by a Suddenly Monster!
Preston begs for his life and luckily for him this beast is the sporting type. It will let him live if he swears to never tell anybody about what he’s just seen. Monsters in the city like to hold on to prime hunting real estate, you understand.
Still reeling from his near-death experience, Preston literally runs into a woman taking a shortcut through the alley while she’s looking for a taxi. Understandably, he wants to get the hell out of there and even though he won’t say anything and is acting like a nutcase she, takes him up on the offer to call a cab from his house. I can only assume we’re in New York City because a perfectly normal relationship ensues between Carola and the guy she first met as a bug-eyed wacko because that’s the only place I’ve ever been where a guy would walk around with a Scarlet Macaw on his head and that just meant it was lunch time.
Artists in horror flicks are also heavily mental dwellers though and try as he might, Preston can never seem to get the events of that night out of his head. With a family to protect now, Preston feels the pressure even more now. The stakes are high now, and some secrets really can eat away at you…
It’s Halloween and you have to work. No parties, no treats, and you’re not in the mood to deal with everyone else who’s going around this night. Then this guy suddenly appears from seemingly nowhere:
First you brush off his charming tricks and say that you don’t wear a costume, then you make him upset. Yeah, you’re probably not making it to work on time.
The Jester: Chapter 2 (2016)
Direction by: Colin Krawchuk
Story by: Colin Krawchuk & Micheal Sheffield
Featuring: Rebecca Rose & Nick Lewis
Production: MakeDo Entertainment
Major Threats: disrespecting the Jester
Really? You didn’t learn your lesson the first time around? It’s nothing but apples for you!
Yes, we remembered ratings this time! The roster is incomplete but we can at least pull an average from the votes. The quality of Dark Side wasn’t the best but here’s the tally:
[Tales from the Dark Side]”Cheesy 80s oddness. Enjoyed!” Rating: 6/10
[The Jester]”Oddness, conciseness and a lovely coloured outfit. Really good!” Rating: 9/10
Layne pulled an “I am Groot” and agrees with Peter
[Dark Side]”I’ll go with a seven, quality’s not the movie’s fault” Rating: 7/10
[The Jester] Rating: 9/10
[Tales from the Dark Side]: *Amberley accidentally watched the beginning of the movie, rating based on later catching up* Rating: 9/10
[The Jester] “I don’t like fucking clowns, or jesters. He was a gentleman… alright… I give the extra point for his gentlemanlyness (sic). Rating: 10/10
[Tales from the Dark Side]: “The monster effects made up for the quality.” Rating: 9/10
[The Jester]: “A solid ten.” Rating: 10/10
Collaborative Average Ratings: 7/10 & 9/10 (Damn Good Double-Feature)