Last night started as any average night for me. I took my sleep aid, spent time with the bed on “Zero-G” setting and read until the drowsiness got too heavy. My sleep was pleasant and my dreams were just as cool as they always were on trazadone, one dream in particular was set during Halloween wherein there was a big party going on and I wore a set of bat wings that I used by rolling my shoulder blades or simply gliding up and down because dream physics. Sweet.
I eventually woke up to use the bathroom like one does early in the morning and went back to sleep since when you’re on trazadone you are completely shut off until it begins to fade. When I eventually started dreaming I was showering for school. I’ve been done with school for well over a decade but that ‘s always a common location in my dreams, only I’m the age I am right now and it’s either really weird or I have to hide it. Dream logic, because biscuits.
I’m suddenly on a bus traveling down the highway and am both confused and very mad. “Hey,” I say, “what is this, I was showering, I shouldn’t be on the bus yet!” I can barely see the driver but I do notice that there’s nobody else on the bus. I repeat that I can’t be on the bus yet but the driver just ignores me, so I march up to him. He looks so average that I can’t even describe him as I’m writing this now. He replies to all of my annoyed prodding with a very comfortable and snide demeanor which only sets me off further, so I turn around to at least go sit down.
This is when I see that the bus is now occupied by more people that were not there before. They ran the general range of age, ethnicity, and size and didn’t speak, just looked at me while the driver droned on behind me. I turned around to face the driver again, only now all of the seat on my right-hand side were gone; that whole side of the bus looked like there’d never been any seats to begin with. I’d hit the “Three Signs” and realized what was going on: I’m dreaming. I consider myself lucky in the fact that when I realize that I’m dreaming I can either go along with it or gain full lucidity and go nuts in dreamland.
At this point, the seats have returned and the smarmy driver is now sitting next to me, gloating about whatever and nipping at my attitude, so I head right to the driver’s seat and get it. “You’ve been a riot but this bullshit’s over.” I say over my shoulder. The driver laughs. “You aren’t behind the wheel.” Instantly I’m back where I was and he’s back behind the wheel. What the hell? This is not how my lucid dreams go, and I say as much to the dipshit behind the wheel. I must assume that these other people on the bus were either extensions of this guy or with him because they just all started in on me. Some were just as much jackasses as he was, other were violent, and a few just started doing the most disgusting things, tossing who-knows-what all over me.
I was stuck on this damn bus with the hooting driver and his horde of assholes for some time before I managed to get out through a window and run into a neighborhood where I thought I could lose them. The neighborhood turned into a car lot with guard dogs and I got flushed out of there but we were still on my home turf. Another common theme of my dreams is that if they aren’t already set in a location that I’ve lived in, I can phase into any of those places in an instant. I immediately went to my “house” because it’s one of many focal points in my lucid dreams for when I want to jump around. I’d be in control.
In the instant that I “jumped” there, I saw the bus parked outside. Now I was really pissed off. Whoever or whatever this driver was, he was in my center now and I could atomize him if I cared to. Of course when I went inside they were all already inside. I’ve had “pesters” in my dreams before and typically dealt with them once I gained lucidity, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t do anything to these guys. I even tried strangling the drive several times and his speech wasn’t even phased.It was like I’d gone lucid inside his dream.
I’d already yelled at myself to, “WAKE UP, THIS IS A DREAM!” several times and was now repeating it while trying to get rid of these irritating, disgusting “people” in every possible way I could think of. When I’m at my most frustrated in a lucid dream, I breath lightning. Yeah, yeah, we all have our dream powers. This typically rids me of the phantasmal annoyance but it did total jack to this fucker. This was where I threw in the towel and though, “Screw it, I’m going across the street to eat all the cake and junk that I can because there aren’t any consequences.” Do I really need to tell you who greeted me there?
All the taunting, jeering, leering, vomit-throwing, bird shit-lobbing, jizz hucking antics of these insufferable things was nothing to prepare me for the dreamland deli and donut shop. They began warping both the store and all of the people around me. People turned into the opposite sex, mutated hybrids, or bag of flour when I tried to approach them for help. The food constantly changed size, shape, flavor, texture, or would turn into everything from bricks and light bulbs to things I’d like to forget. This was all built by my lucid mind and inhabited by my subconscious and not only were this driver and his horde running wild through it against anything I did to stop them, they were physically changing and affecting it.
If they were able to do this, then they weren’t part of my dream. they weren’t part of my subconscious or me: they were autonomous. This driver had somehow gotten into my head and had been hounding me for what felt like hours, beaten down my will to fight back and was holding his power over my head as his cohorts continued to rain down all manner of insults down on my broken mind as I tried to ignore it. I wasn’t going to go along with their game anymore. I had to wake up eventually, but every time I thought that, the driver got cockier.
What finally got me in the end was sharing a Cosmic Brownie with a woman I didn’t recognize and sharing a deep hug that made me cry. I can only figure that this bastard driver decided to jab me in the “Loneliness” node of my brain for kicks, which just so happens to be the area my mind takes me when I’m truly down and need to be raised from a subconscious struggle while I’m asleep because he instantly lost control and I woke up. The first thing I fully registered in front of me was my closet door, which now sat ajar when it most definitely should not have been. I felt a bit sick but mostly enraged. Are you in there, you shithead, I thought.
By this time it was 3pm. I was stuck for that long. I had to rush to join the Movigos for today’s viewing and horror stories, which all turned out to be about terrible dreams. I spent the whole event waiting to hear a chuckle, barely audible, just over my shoulder because that just would have figured, wouldn’t it? Whatever drove its way into my mind last night, don’t ever come near me again, you horrible, horrible bastard.