(Weird) Watching with Alex, Episode 12: Knuckle, Knuckle, Terror & Chuckle

Knucklebones [2016]
Directed/Written by: Mitch Wilson
Featuring: Julin, Tom Zembrod, Katie Bosacki
Production: Midnight Releasing
Category: Supernatural Slasher Fest!

How do you know you’re in for a crazy horror movie? Answer: It begins in 1944 with Nazis dabbling in the occult. You can always count on those guys to come up with something truly insane, and on this particular occasion they’re trying to summon a demon with some good old Mad Science to reinforce the procedure. The good news is that they successfully conjure a demon. Yeah, that’s the good news, the bad news is that said demon kills everybody present because, you know, demon.

We are then jumped forward to Texas of all places in 1976 where the same demon has somehow been conjured again, this time in a textile factory. No way those stains are coming out of anything, not a chance. Then just as quickly it’s forty years later and we meet our main character, Neesa, whose fiancé has just broken up with her at a carnival of all places and seems to think that a giant stuffed elephant will placate her. To say that she takes it hard is an understatement because the next thing she knows she’s waking up in the hospital following a suicide attempt, but not before having a dire vision wherein she finds an ornate box containing some old bones, the opening of which sends a hulking figure after her. I have to give the film some referencing credit here for having this culminate in the hospital’s boiler room.

Obviously concerned over her recent behavior, Neesa’s best friend convinces her to go out with the rest of the group to hang out at the old abandoned factory just outside town (Guess which one!) and we’re quickly introduced to the Standard Group. They’re “cookie-cutter” characters and that’s all they need to be because cookies are for eating! So of course while exploring the factory they discover an old ammo crate containing the rules and that ornate box containing human knuckle bones which are used to summon the demon, and of course they summon said demon, the titular Knucklebones, and hot damn if he doesn’t make a grand entrance. He will spend the rest of the movie hunting down the youths and making short work of a another group, having shown up with the intention of collecting copper for scrap but mostly just helps fill out the body count, all while dropping wonderful one-liners.

Favored Ability: CHA. Knucklebones is one awesome bastard, rooting for him over the Expendable Meat isn’t going to be very difficult.

Rating: 4/5 (Above Average) [+1 Slice of Girlfriend, +2 Awesome Adversary, +1 Extra Cheese]

The first rule of Horror Club is you don’t perform the ritual. Rituals are bad because they make you Expendable Meat, and Expendable Meat is a job with no options for growth and a high rate of turnover. Knucklebones is a real work of awesome with his charred, oozing features and deep, gravely one-liners. Oh, the one-liners! Not horror movie of this pedigree would be complete without wonderfully bad one-liners!

Knucklebones follows many of the classic “Youths Trapped with Slasher” cliches but for a healthy B-Movie diet it’s important to get those essentials in. Needless to say, the film touches on and deals very seriously with the topic of suicide, so Knucklebones may not be for everyone. That said, if you’re looking for a fun horror flick to watch with popcorn and a group of friends then Knuclebones is what I would suggest.

 

2 comments

  1. Ahahaha! Ok, I flicked this film on. It’s already on YouTube. Man, it’s cheese! Some entertaining deaths. I chuckled at the final kill. 2/5, it’s a popcorn muncher of a bad film. 🙂

    Like

    1. “I told you we’d have a lot of fun together!”

      It got a 4 based on the company I saw it with and because I always root for the monster. If he hadn’t been so fun I’d have taken some points off.
      There’s a true stinker on the way after the next movie, though. :p

      Liked by 1 person

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